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ABSOLUTE JESUS

All Jesus, All the Time

Name:
omg, i LOVE jesus
Location:
Membership:
Open
Posting Access:
All Members , Moderated
ADULTS ONLY. THIS COMMUNITY CONTAINS CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 18.




welcome to
~*† ABSOLUTE JESUS †*~
A sanctuary for inspiration in our Lord!

TO JOIN THIS COMMUNITY, CLICK HERE!
<><


THE RULES!
PLEASE: READ THE FAQ. Seriously. Read it.
1. New members: DO NOT write 'introduction posts'. Only write posts that are about Jesus. Also, in posts, DO NOT ask people to add you.
2. WE DON'T PUT UP WITH SPAM. If you want to advertise, you may ONLY do so IF it is tacked into a legitimate post (accompanied by something Jesusly, such as a web site, picture, joke, poem, article, etc. about jesus). Advertising a legitimate christian community is NOT NECESSARY, as its content is primarily serious worship and this community is interested exclusively in the comical.
3. Please, post whatever Jesusness you want, without regard to discretion. As long as it's Jesus-related, you can post ANYthing. Offensive, weird, WTF, whatev. Also see rule 6. Please note that ALL religious and non-religious people are encouraged to join in on the Jesussy fun-- however, a sense of humor is recommended.
4. No whining to the mods about meanies. We do not care. If someone can't stick up for themselves, that's their problem. PLEASE DO NOT send complaints to mods' personal journals or e-mail accounts. PLEASE DO NOT create complaint posts. PLEASE REMEMBER you're free to be as blatantly rude as necessary to others.
5. This community does not tolerate the stupid nor the offensively ignorant. You know who you are. We don't put up with biggotry and such behavior will be dealt with.
6. WORK-SAFE. Always Lj-cut everything offensive, even if mildly so. Since almost everything is "mommy-inappropriate," this community is 18+. Also, lj-cut large images (greater than 500x500 pixels and/or 50kb-ish). Please be courteous to our friends with dial-up.
HEY THANKS,
intoxipolitan
free_thought181


ABSOLUTE_JESUS!
Where "He WILL show HE cares 547,802.325 times!"
©



CLICK HERE FOR THE COMMUNITY THEME SONG

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a GREAT FALL
ALL the Kings men no one, not even
we ourselves can put together our
broken Lives ONLy JESUS CAN
JESUS Christ Came into the world
to SAVE sinners of whom I am Chief
Humpty Dumpty shouted AMEN !
GOD Can Put me together again


SHOWCASE!

Here's a classic exchange between your mods (Diana & Jon) and one of the stupidest people who've ever trolled this community:

onfire4godrules: I'M SPEAKING MY MIND AND I'LL SAY WHAT I WANT TO SAY AND I DON'T CARE WHAT U HAVE TO SAY, SO BLAHHHH!

intoxipolitan: If you were speaking your mind, you'd be silent.
And obviously you care, since you took the time to reply.
So BLAHHHH!

onfire4godrules: The whole point of speaking ur mind is not to keep silent u nimwit

free_thought181: It's amusing when someone tries to refute an insult and just ends up proving it correct.

onfire4godrules: if u were talking about me then that makes no sense, i don't know what you all have been smokin

free_thought181: Read this carefully. I'll try to explain it using words small enough for you to understand. You said you were speaking your mind. Diana replied that had you been speaking your mind you would have been silent. Now atheists don't believe that everything you read must be literally true. This allows for something called humour. The joke here is that your mind is empty. That's called a metaphor, it doesn't mean that you have nothing inside your head, it means you're stupid. I hope this clears things up for you! If you need any further clarification, just let me know.

onfire4godrules: I AM NOT STUPID U MORON AND I BET I HAVE A HIGHER IQ SCORE THAN U DO AND EVEN THOUGH U GUYS ARE FULL OF STUPIDITY-GODBLESS UR POOR SOULS AND I AM PRAYING FOR CAUSE NO MATTER WHAT GOD DOES LOVE U

free_thought181: How much would you be willing to bet? Seriously, college tuition's a bitch these days and I can use all the help I can get. Although I'd have to take a new IQ test. I hit the ceiling on the last one I took and never thought it was worth it to pay for the Stanford-Benet which is the only IQ test without a cap.

onfire4godrules: I'm nOT ONLY FULL OF OUTSTANDING KNOWLIDGE, BUT IM ALSO FULL OF TRUE WISDOM THAT UR NEVER GOING TO FIND IF U KEEP LIVING UR LIFE LIKE THIS

free_thought181: What does that have to do with our bet?

onfire4godrules: Your not worth my time, like i said to that one chick, its not like ur gonna convince me of anything and you've already given your mind over to the devil for his playground. So I'll continue praying for u and I love u with the love of Chris+

YES! Praise CHRIS PLUS and accept him as your SAVIOR!





QUESTIONS, COMMENTS?
Please read, and comment in, the FAQ.

If you're interested in serious discussion, we reccomend you check out proveyourgod, convert_me and religious_phil.


WE LOVE YOU, JESUS!!!!!!!1!111


Have a blessed day, and remember: Jesus loves you!

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